The Signet, the Circle and the Shrinks

The Signet, the Circle and the Shrinks


Thomas Hoskyns Leonard

The writers to the Signet
In their iconic library reside,
Scottish law to uphold
Like all bold men of old.
Their keeper, the Lord of Clashfern,
Our deep respect does earn,
By promoting dedication and education,
With the highest standards of Scottish pride.
Nobody takes him for a ride.

The high and mighty Judge Dicky Cheapdeath,
Allegedly into boys,
Whips, chains, and dubious toys,
While others corrupted our legal system
To hide their own illegal predilections.
To a Chair of Law he did retire,
While the quasi-legal Magic Circle and their decrepit politicians were in the mire.
Sorcerers all, did they to their Druids’ rings retreat
Without behaving entirely discreet?
Why did we have to tolerate the nasty deadbeats?
Why didn’t they have to face full heat
While to others false justice they did mete?
They make my flesh want to crawl and creep.

The noble Signet and the ignoble Circle?
Should twain still meet,
Then should all good Scotsmen think,
Lest we end up in the drink.
Meanwhile, the cowardly shrinks in Kafka’s Castle hide
While jagging young men’s bare backsides,
Causing narcoleptic malignancy, physical defects,
And other savage side effects.
Dr. Yes. Yes! Dr. Yes,
What peace does your cruel justice really make?
Why do you the Hippocratic oath forsake?
When will you by the law you so sternly uphold abide?
When will you stop sweeping your critics aside?
If only your murderous intent was half-spent.
I’m only just beginning to give vent!

The Signet, the Circle and the shrinks entwin,
To rule the population by right divine.
The Keeper, Judge Cheapdeath and Dr. Yes;
Three pillars subject to duress.
May the Signet save us from the rest,
May our mothers save us from all the other suckers and mother f**kers,
When they next crawl out of their stanks and gutters.

©Thomas Hoskyns Leonard    May 2013